> Make it Work

There is a saying that Love is blind – it’s a no brainer on why you are in this kind of relationship, when you know that this relationship is beyond the experimentation, that you chose to make this kind of relationship will complete you and move you forward.

But how does one keep one? How does one make it work? How does one stay in love?

These are the sample questions my amigo and my friend the very first-timer, I will try to shed my advice, do my very best to give my opinions on how and which I was able to last for 3 years and still going on a pre-op MTF relationship.

BEING IN LOVE

Congratulations my friend, so you passed you first few months, are you seeing things or noticing things? Maybe you outdid yourself, have you noticed you lasted this couple of months? The first 3months and you are still in that high. Keep that momentum as you always remember why you loved her? Remember that spark or that giddy feeling on how she makes you. By remembering makes you always look forward to her, it gives you reason to do things, and how you appreciate her.

The effect my friend – show’s how committed you are in this relationship, and the love will return to you because you show that affection, love becomes sweeter or just simply be pure.

For growth, continue to surprise her – or try going out of town. Mind you amigo and my friend don’t spoil with too much gifts and just keep it simple.

STAYING IN LOVE

This my friend is the hardest thing to do, you are in your latter most months and you do see things differently now – you tend to argue, you see the other side that you didn’t see in the first few months of your relationship and now it’s becoming a strain. Things and thoughts that bother – is this really what I wanted? Did I make that right choice? Now even more negativity that it’s bringing you going back wanting the opposite sex or worse look for the same kind, but someone who fills out the holes.

My friend I need you to wipe out being the player-look in your eyes or wipe those tears – what you will experience are the regular things to come or these are quite normal in any relationship. You will eventually hit those bumps – because these are part of growth. It’s the part of you accepting this, you accepted her flaws – you got to mind she’s still part of who she was is he. And you know how we guys are – and it is still part of her that never let goes. As any other relationship – may it be the opposite – we got to deal and suck it and talk it out.

It’s all in Listening, Accepting, Swallowing, Taking-in or LAST.  What is this, my friend? Well I will gladly discuss this matter:

LISTENING ­ - try to notice what she is trying to say when you argue, because she see things on what she wants, not that we want to give all her demands, balance it out, weigh and share what you can do, compromise or negotiate. At least you listen but talk things over. Don’t leave an argument or flaw – it comes to show you didn’t prove your worth or take in what you signed in for. It’s not going to be easy, but its best you do what you can. Tell her what you can do, and do it. I stress that point. Share both what you feel on a certain issue or talk to her on what you feel – don’t keep those bottled feelings and once it’s both out, at least you had settled an agreement.

ACCEPTING ­– I know that there issues that can sting you, for an example of which I am a player – she points out that I flirt too much – I accepted that it can hurt being called attention – but accepting who the fault, and admit it. Makes you take ownership of your mistakes, and shows on how much you want to be a better person. Accepting is also, accepting the faults and flaws – like I’ve mention you signed on to this relationship if she’s hot tempered, you got to accept it. If she’s materialistic, accept it. And it goes on. But all accepting must go to the point, that she share your side as I’ve mentioned, how it makes you feel. Again by talking it over leads to share a common ground on how you both can be better persons.

SWALLOWING – Now that you share common ground of what you listened and accepted, is swallowing that jagged little pill, and taking that blow. Sucking it in is hard, and now that you swallowed – you got to follow through with your actions on what you’ve committed yourself to. It’s like a call centre coaching session in which – Actions Taken to what promised and following through to meet the goals. By doing what you said you do shows you’re willing to grow, and shows promise in that growth. Mind you my amigo, this is for your own good and her good – you both grow from mistakes and mind you not to regress or repeat the same mistakes. Nothing is but a turnoff and repeating the same mistakes – it can hinder and it generates doubt and can rift a hole between you that is hard to build again that trust, that spark that you look for.

TAKING-IN ­– taking it in is almost like swallowing. Take in also whatever comes with your way, and see it coming, know your actions and that lead to what may turn to something in the future. Take in and know this for your own betterment. Take in any challenge and turn that with an opportunity.

My amigo surviving this leads to both of your growth and I like to share you a soul mates prayer on a book I’ve read not so long ago. Lord, guide me that I may find that one to who I can be of most of service as she seeks to find her path back to thee, and the one who can best help me do the same. Amen.

I share you again what you came in, you are both persons who are to make each a better person of yourself and like I’ve discussed this are part of your growing. In each thing she points out, or flaw, it teaches how you to LAST. And it does the same for her.

GROWING IN LOVE

Now that you still remember the giddiness and doing the LAST, it’s always moving forward, set on your priorities after all your common ground in this relationship is Long-Term and it’s beyond sexual encounters or conquests.

Set your goals on what you want to do next, what you wanted to do – share it and talk it. Again never keep bottled emotions and feelings – and lay your cards.

By setting is keeping like a vision board, doing things on what you set to do. Whether it is committing yourself in getting your own place, or just simply to continue loving each other – make it work as Tim Gunn would say. I know to some making plans will spoil what’s in future but I tell you my friend by setting this it show the direction on what you wanted, and makes you both drivers of your destiny and sharing the wheel helps you both grow.

Move forward, what’s next? Keep that in mind.

In conclusion, I discussed 3 things – and I hope this enlighten you first timers to what to do in this situations. Remember

• ·         Keep that feeling of what you had on those few months
• ·         LAST – Listening, Accepting, Swallowing and Taking-in
• ·         Move Forward

Wish you the luck and best, keep the faith.


Edited 10-26-2011